Welcome back

Welcome back. It's me. I'm here. I'm alive. It's episode 81. This is My Maria 777. Back at it again with your last podcast for me in 2021 and the first solo podcast in quite some time.

And I need to apologize for that.

And I know that I have already and previously. and I'm sure I probably sound like a broken

record in the few and far between times you've heard for me in the last six months but

I must again pay penance to you to the microphone, to myself.

Because I don't know what the fuck I've got what's been going on with me lately.

But I've almost, I've been afraid to face you.

I've been afraid to face myself.

And this unfortunately has been a very easy part of the equation to allow to like fall by the wayside, if you will.

And I've just been fucking fucking busy y'all.

It's, it's been a really weird six months and to be quite

honest i've been a little depressed which is ironic of me to say because there was a great deal

of time in which i didn't necessarily believe in depression with some like previous relationships that I was in.

I mean, I guess I believe in depression, but I don't believe in it in some sort of debilitating way.

Because all of the times in which I've been depressed in my lifetime, I've still had to like wake up and like pull myself by my own bootstraps and like get my ass in gear and get shit done.

It was like a big issue between me and my ex-fiance.

It was one of the reasons why I couldn't like I was ignoring the red flags for such a long time because we were together when my stepdad died.

And he was really close to him, like literally drove him to cancer treatment every day there in the end.

And we both just went through this like deep dark depression we were living

in different cities and he had a his employment his profession allowed him to just like literally

make his own schedule and that didn't jive it didn't work with me anyways all of that to say like i had to get up and i had

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