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Oh!

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Oh, FX!

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I know it just sounds like a neighborhood prank or something.

Not also what I told myself at first, too.

Some little snot picking on the old man down the street because he or she feels like they can.

But these supposedly adamant invaders of my humble property are doing unexplainable things.

Not a superstitious man, but I can't begin to imagine the logistics that would have been involved if this was all some kind of trick.

And for what purpose?

I don't have enemies. I'm just a regular retire trying to...

...turn a while away in my remaining days in peace.

Enjoying the relaxing suburban paradise I've set up for myself.

Okay, maybe calling a paradise is a bit hyperbolic, but I really have come to view my nice house outside the city

and it's nice little neighborhood with my neatly kept lawn and lovingly tended garden as a refuge from the chaotic and ever-changing world outside.

Always polite, personable with my friendly neighbors.

But I'll admit, I'm not much of a social butterfly, and in fact I've probably spent a significant majority of my time right here within my property lines,

ever since my lovely wife Edith passed away a few years ago.

I just rarely feel in need to leave unless there's some specific reason to.

...