Hey, Dale. Yeah. My head popped up from my conversation with a young elementary school teacher.

She'd spent the last 30 minutes explaining how going to a swinger party wasn't normally her thing.

I've been listening, but mostly I'd been paying attention to the delicate locks of

Donnie Blan hair that hung around the nape of her neck. We could use your help. Allie thinks that

we've got a creeper. Where? I asked. She's in the garage with him now. Oh, sorry. I said,

flashing a smile at the pretty young teacher. This happens. I'll go take a look and I'll be right back.

She giggled some affirmation when I got up. I had the duck my way around one couple

groping each other in the cramped hallway before I got there. Momentarily stopping to chastise our

accountant for not using a coaster on Allie's favorite coffee table. I mean, to be fair to the guy,

he was getting ahead of the time, but the table is an import and worth a small portion.

She's keeping it busy. Mini, our neighbour, was waiting for me by the half-open door.

She was a little tipsy, leaning on one side and looking awful concerned. We had our fair share

of unpleasant guests in the past, but something about Mini's expression worried me.

But I stepped to the door. I found my wife chatting openly and laughing with Jacob and Alex nearby.

She was giving it jovial, commanding all attention with expert control. That alone,

let me know she'd already had to do some deescalating. Hey, babe, I said, stepping up and wrapping

an arm around her waist. What's up? These are our new guests, she applied, gesturing to the quiet

man in front of us. He was younger than he should have been. 25. Topps. Not a bad-looking man by any

measure, but he seemed about as comfortable as a stray cat in the dog pound. I couldn't tell if he'd

noticed the ever-growing number of men around him, but I hope not. Alex's charm offensives were

so efficient that most unwanted guests didn't see the door coming until it slammed in their face.

Nice to meet you. I held up my hand and prayed to God that this guy hadn't been

...