My wife got me another woman for my birthday, or so I thought.

I'm a professional house cleaner in a large city.

My first house today was beautiful and pretty big, more than 4,000 square feet,

and I'd never cleaned this house before today.

I'm kind of interested to clean the homes of other people you never actually meet while they're not home.

I never snoop, but I do learn about people just by the state of their people you never actually meet while they're not home. I never snoop,

but I do learn about people just by the state of their house or whatever's out. These people

seemed like they really needed us. I'd guess they were busy and don't have much time for cleaning

and organizing, but definitely have an active bedroom life judging by the master bedroom. I love

cleaning dirty houses and was like

amping myself up doing a mini rocky training montage warm up and finding the perfect music to work to,

Pantera. I was sweating like four hours in, but I was getting this house like sparkling,

and all I had left to do were the floors when a man walked in. I welcomed him home and let

him know that I just needed to clean the floors and I'd be finished soon. He looked super confused

and then kind of grinned and asked if I was his birthday gift. I didn't really know what he meant.

Maybe his wife scheduled the service on his birthday. I just answered with, maybe? Happy birthday, Mr.

Henricks? To which he looked even more confused and told me his name was not Henrix.

Well, that's because his next-door neighbor, my actual client, is Mr. Henricks. I walked my happy

butt into the wrong freaking house and cleaned the heck out of it.

And then the guy who lived there came home and thought that I was a lady of the night,

role-playing as a house cleaner, hired by his wife as a birthday present.

I was so totally embarrassed explaining myself to this guy and my boss.

...