My Wife Doesn't Know Me Anymore

The Dr. Laura Podcast

Dr. Laura Schlessinger & SiriusXM

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4.6 • 6.3K Ratings

🗓️ 5 February 2021

⏱️ 8 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

My Wife Doesn't Know Me Anymore - John feels guilty if he doesn't visit his wife each day at her nursing home, but it's terribly painful since she doesn't recognize him anymore. - Remember the past forty years with appreciation instead of yearning. | Become a Dr. Laura Family Member: https://www.drlaura.com/ See https://www.drlaura.com/privacy-policy for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from two to five PM Eastern time on serious XM.
0:10.0	I'm 11. John, welcome to the program. Yes, good afternoon doctor. It's Dr. Lawrence. I know I talked to you. I've listened to you for so many years.
0:20.0	Thank you.
0:22.0	My issue is my wife is 72. I am 80. I'm blind. I took care of her for five years and home.
0:35.0	And then I put her into a facility in their Alzheimer's unit dementia unit.
0:44.0	And I moved to the facility as well in personal care. So because I don't have any transportation so I could visit her every day. Well, with the with the pandemic, I hadn't been able to visit her for seven months.
0:58.0	Oh, so now I got permission to to to visit her, you know, under some restraints restrictions. I have to stay in her room and that.
1:08.0	But the issue is number one, I really don't feel as though she knows who I am. And I love that woman with all my heart.
1:17.0	And the second thing is my question to you is how can I deal with her when I go to her room. She just don't communicate and I want to hold her hand and.
1:31.0	I just don't it's overwhelming to me. I just don't know what to do. I've handled a lot of things in my life, but this is something that I need help on.
1:42.0	She's gone.
1:44.0	I know that.
1:45.0	My wife is gone. Her body's there, but she's gone. You can't hold your wife's hand anymore.
1:55.0	I know, but I love her so much. I understand that and I have no fix for this.
2:02.0	But you can't keep going to her room, expecting or hoping for a reaction.
2:09.0	Should I should I'm I mean, I'm asking the question because I'm certainly confused. Should I should I even go?
2:16.0	I'm sorry, what's confusing you?
2:19.0	Well, if I don't go every day to visit her, I feel guilty because I don't go to her room.
2:28.0	She doesn't know if you're there or not.
2:31.0	You're not doing anything bad. Guilt is a reaction to doing something immoral, illegal or unethical.
2:40.0	I know that logically. I know that it's emotional part that I can't get over.
2:49.0	I thoroughly understand that and I can't fix that for you. It's a decision you need to make inside yourself.
	...

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