My Toddler Won't Separate or Warm Up to Anyone Else

Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

JLML Press

Kids & Family, Parenting

4.7 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 28 November 2023

⏱️ 26 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

While it's flattering to be a toddler's chosen one, being prized can become a drain when our child's dependency gets out of hand. In this episode, a mom writes to Janet for help with her 2.5-year-old daughter, who she says has always had separation anxiety and continues to need the mom's constant presence to feel comfortable and happy. Whenever this parent tries to separate, even when it's only to the next room, her toddler cries. "She is never soothed or comforted by other family members (even her dad) and will only accept comforting from me." Janet offers a small adjustment this parent might make in her response and explains how this can help her toddler or a child of any age, even a baby, feel more trusting and comfortable when separating and in the company of others.

Learn more about Janet's "No Bad Kids Master Course" at: NoBadKidsCourse.com.

Her best-selling books “No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline without Shame” and "Elevating Child Care: A Guide to Respectful Parenting" are available in all formats at Amazon, Apple, Barnes & Noble, Google Play, and free at Audible (https://adbl.co/2OBVztZ) with a trial subscription.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey everyone. Before we begin, I just want to remind you to please check out my new No Bad Kids Master course.
0:09.5	You can find out all about it at no bad kids course dot com.
0:17.0	Hi this is Janet Lansbury.
0:19.0	Welcome to Unruffled.
0:20.0	Today I'm going to be responding to a question from a parent who says that her two and a half year old has always had separation anxiety and can't get comfortable with grandparents,
0:33.0	even the child's father.
0:35.3	This little girl gets upset whenever her mother isn't there
0:39.3	to care for her and seems especially anxious
0:41.8	around family members that try to engage her or touch her.
0:47.0	This parent's wondering if there's anything she can do to help her child become more comfortable in these situations and takes up of the pressure off this
0:56.0	parent who feels like she's the only one her daughter will be contented with.
1:01.5	Okay. contented with.
1:07.0	Okay, so here's the question I received. Hi Janet, thank you for all the work you do.
1:09.0	I have a question about my daughter's separation anxiety from me, mom, that has seemed to be present since birth.
1:16.8	I've always tried to be respectful of her communication, so as an infant when she showed distress
1:22.2	at being held by other family members, I always took her back, or if I had to leave the room, I would let her play on the floor instead of forcing her to be held by somebody else.
1:33.1	My mom said that when she seemed upset,
1:35.5	I should say, it's okay, it's just grandma.
1:38.8	But I wanted to respect that she didn't want that physical contact
1:41.8	with someone, as we would with an older child who didn't want
1:44.7	to give a hug to a family member.
1:47.2	When she was six weeks and I had to go to my postpartum appointment, I left her with my
	...

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