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Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast

My Panic Attack

Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast

Timber Hawkeye

Spirituality, Buddhism, Awareness, Calm, Society & Culture, Meditation, Mindful, Buddhist, Philosophy, Awake, Minimalist, Innerpeace, Selfhelp, Spiritual, Education, Aware, Mindfulness, Self-improvement

4.8907 Ratings

🗓️ 29 April 2020

⏱️ 9 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I am typically calm and collected, so when I experienced a panic attack that triggered serious suicidal thoughts, it was mindfulness, meditation, surrender, and a mantra that brought me back to center. Years ago, I made a commitment to be vulnerable and transparent with all of you, and this was the lowest point in my adult life but I'd be a hack if I kept it from you. This is me. But I'm grateful for the tools with which to work through it all. Your brother, Timber Hawkeye

Transcript

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0:17.0

Welcome to the Buddhist Boot Camp Podcast. Our intention is to awaken, enlighten, enrich, and inspire a simple and uncomplicated life. Discover the benefits of mindful living with your host, Timber Hawkeye.

0:30.0

I originally intended to record this episode back in March, but that's when the coronavirus hit the U.S. in full force, so I put it on the back burner to host live

0:36.3

Q&As instead, highlights from which are uploaded as podcast episodes.

0:40.5

But once our front doors open again, the sudden stimuli of crowded stores and

0:45.6

roadways might overwhelm us, which brings me to this unlikely story I want to

0:50.4

share with you about a panic attack that I had earlier this year.

0:54.4

It turns out there's a good explanation for why it occurred, but it was quite unnerving

0:58.6

when it was actually happening.

1:00.8

What got me through it is what can get us through what's happening right now.

1:05.0

After six years of accumulating airline mileage points from flights and credit card charges,

1:11.0

I finally had enough points to cover an absolutely free round-trip flight and

1:16.4

five-week backpacking trip around the Philippines earlier this year.

1:20.5

And setting up a tenth on the beach, or as I like to call it, a 5 billion-star hotel, made the trip a nature-lover's paradise, but quite a few shots and vaccinations for things like typhoid and malaria were either necessary or strongly advised prior to boarding the flight.

1:36.4

I am fortunate enough to not be on any medication and I generally avoid even taking aspirin

1:42.2

unless I'm in severe pain.

1:44.0

But considering all the time I was about to spend sleeping outdoors in a third world country,

1:49.2

I took the malaria pills for two weeks prior to departure as well as during the trip and for three weeks

1:54.9

afterwards. I didn't bother reading the possible side effects because not taking

1:59.6

the pills wasn't an option but it didn't take long to notice that the pills made me sleepy, for example,

2:05.3

so I just took them at night.

2:07.0

I later discovered they also caused vivid dreams and a slight fever, which was no big deal. The whole point of the trip was to

2:14.4

maximize time on quiet deserted islands for some peace and tranquility and to

...

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