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Hi listeners, I'm Jimmy Ludwig and I have a story I want to tell you.

A story of a man who finds his neighbor in the news.

So gather around and listen.

Close.

It started out like any other day.

Isn't that always how the best story is begin?

Well, and the worst.

6am.

My eyelids peeled back and utter disgust at the demanding screams of my alarm clock.

I don't know why I still wake up this early.

I'm currently in between jobs so I could sleep in a tad.

But I guess I find myself wanting to squeeze as much self-loathing time out of each day

as I can.

Anyways, once I roll that a bed, I shuffle to the front door to retrieve my daily newspaper

Yes, I still have the paper delivered to my house.

I tell people it's to support local journalism, but really I think I just love the aesthetic

of a 1980s father of three reading up on the latest news before heading out to his

9-5.

Newspaper in hand, I sat in my crimson red, tuffed linen armchair to dive in.

Traditionally, my news consumption consists solely of front page stories, the important stuff.

...