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Jill welcome to the program.

Hi Dr. Laura. Thank you for taking my call. I just want to say I appreciate everything you stand for and you have made me a better wife and a better mom. So I thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. So I'm hopeful that you can help me maybe not understand my mom but I guess I'm at a crossroads with her and I don't know how to navigate it.

She we we have a son that's going to celebrate a birthday this weekend and so I just and which birthday might that be his secret birthday.

It's 10th birthday. Okay. Yes. Okay. And so I sent out a text both grandparents last night. Just kind of reminding them and let them know exactly what time we would be getting together just a little get together with grandparents and I get a text back from my mom and she can I read it to you. Yeah. Please. Okay.

She says thank you but I'm just three days into my new diet and I need to keep focused. I have very low willpower but so far I am having success. I don't expect anyone to understand my eating disorder. Dad doesn't. I just need to keep at it.

I hope you don't think I don't love or care for all of you especially the birthday boy because I do I just have personal issues I have to deal with hope you all have a great day love mom.

Okay. And I've gone through so many emotions. I've been bitter. I've been pissed. I have an answer just because I don't even know what to say to that.

She's skipping out on her grandson's birthday because of her weight issue that she has.

Why did you say you were to cross roads with her? Well, she's always still she's always had weight issues ever since I've been young and and and so she's.

She's done things differently when it comes to get together then you know if I if we would invite him over for a meal she say well I'm not eating I just started a new diet or I mean it's not the question to ask you.

I got for bid just had a let me make it somebody else if somebody else just had a freak accident broke both their legs and they said they couldn't come play tennis with you would you be going through all this crap you're making me listen to.

With the bitter and this and that would you be going through that or would you just go oh gee that's too bad okay.

Yeah, I mean that's too bad you can't. Okay, your mother is neurotic it's like having broken legs.

Okay, just a mental problem.

Okay, you can't be bitter or resentful you can feel pity you can roll your eyes like I here we go again but since it she's consistent with it is you're the one with the problem.

If something is happening consistently and you react each time like it's the first time and it's apocalyptic and it's the end of the world then you're the one over reacting.

So you're the one right now with the psychological problem.

No because you knew damn well she wasn't going to come.

Well, this is when it comes to the grand. It's only new because there are grandkids it's not new behavior.

Okay, get a dog and then you can say it's only new when we got the dog get a plant in front of your house don't keep pulling the gall post away.

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