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Triumph 111. Him welcome to the program.

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call. I've listened for a long time. Thank you.

I recently discovered or was told that my younger sister who's almost about four years younger than me has been holding a lot of anger towards me about how I responded when our mother passed away about 20 years ago so we were young.

I was almost 19. She was, oh, that would have made her 12, 13 right in there.

I was in my freshman year of college and she had to live with a grandparent and then from that moment on her life didn't go as she wanted it to.

She had a child young at 18 and was in an abusive relationship that I didn't know about.

Anyway, just within the last few days she has shared with me how upset she is with me that I left her. I wasn't there for her.

I don't know. I said I'm sorry and I don't think it's been enough and I don't know what to do.

She's blaming and not taking responsibility. Let me say in general you're an adult now. I'm an adult. Let's look at this.

I don't know what happened to dad but mom's dead and we either can have an 18 year old girl taking care of adolescent or we can have a grandma and a grandpa loving mature place to live, etc. taking care.

Which would sound more rational. Just just answer that.

Definitely the grandparent. There's a little bit more. I'm sure there is. I just want. I just want you to wait. Slow down.

Okay. What I do has to be methodical. Not scattered. So I'm just pointing out things as we go along.

Okay. Next phase. It's been umpteen years and you just found out a few days ago she's still pissed. Don't you think that's a little neurotic.

It is. It is. But I do feel that. Have you do not see. Stop with the feelings. Use your head for a little bit here. Okay. Forget the feelings. Use your brain.

So in all these years since then, what kind of relationship have you had?

Um, you know, right away we didn't talk that often. You know, and even when I moved out and graduated high school moved out to go to college, we want very close. You know, she was a freshman and I was a senior.

And then she had a child young and 18 and we weren't. Is that your fault too? Is that your fault too?

That isn't but maybe the abusive relationship and not acknowledging the abusive relationship she was in. That's not your fault either. That's not your fault either. I know.

None of this is your fault. And you started out by saying that she said her life didn't go the way. I don't even know what the end of that sentence was supposed to be. Well, when you get knocked up as a teenager, no, your life doesn't go the way you'd like it to be.

But to become orphaned and live with your. Do you like talking over me or do you want to hear me? No. No. Okay. I just hit my head with my hand. Yeah. Sorry.

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