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I'm 11. Jenny, welcome to the program.

Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call.

Thank you. I'm hoping that you can help me with a response to my husband.

We've been married for 14 years and he's a hardcore workout guy. He works out every day and has for several years.

And I work out also about five days a week, but he will make a lot of comments about his body and not being satisfied with it.

He'll be standing there making dinner with me and say, I'm just so fat or I wish I wasn't so fat and he's not at all.

And I don't know what to say to him anymore that will believe me.

What else has nothing to do with believing you? What else is he insecure about?

His teeth.

What else?

He does have.

I don't know if insecure is the right word for it, but his dad left when he was really little.

So he's got some problems dealing with that. Sometimes he'll make comments about, you know, I wish my dad would have been there for that.

You know how we put these both together? Little itty bitty kids. Look at abandonment.

As they were not enough. They were not perfect enough.

If they were more perfect, as though they were levels of perfect, if they were more perfect, if they were better, if they were thinner, taller, smarter, whatever, than daddy wouldn't have left.

It's their way of controlling something over which they have no control.

Had no control over what his dad did.

So if he puts in his mind that he'll be loved if he's perfect, he won't be abandoned if he's perfect, which is why he keeps mentioning it to you.

That's his way of attempting to control not being abandoned.

This goes very deep. This has nothing to do really with his dimensions.

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