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All right, today's question comes from Lindsay in Ohio. My husband and I have been married for seven years and he refuses to combine finances.

I make significantly less than he does and whenever we argue he says I'm only with him for his money, and he accuses me of wanting to drain his accounts.

Jeez.

I don't have any login info for any of our bills or his bank account.

Oh, God.

His mom is on his checking account, so if he died tomorrow, she could drain his funds completely while I waited for death certificates to access the funds and support our son who is three.

Yeah, this next line doesn't surprise me at all. He recently told me he is not happy and has not been happy for a long time. I'm doing everything I can to keep my family together because

I love him. I even turned down job offers recently that paid significantly more just to preserve my

mental health and to not cause him more stress. If I'm being honest, I don't earn enough to afford an

apartment on my own, let alone eat and pay utilities. I'm scared and heartbroken and looking for some

direction. That's hard. I would stop everything heartbroken and looking for some direction.

That's hard. I would stop everything that you're doing and I would call a marriage therapist today right now and ask him if he will go with you. He probably will not

and ask him this following question at the dinner table. Are you through with our marriage?

I think more people avoid that question and go for months or years with all these peripheral

behaviors. Hey mom, put my mama checking account. You can't have, we have all these, all these

proxy wars, sit down and say, are you done with this marriage? And you might tell

I'm not going to file on you. You're going to have to leave, whatever you want to, but ask that

question and have a therapist already appointment already booked. That's where they're at here.

Yep, yep. This is a man who's leaving this marriage and either A, doesn't have the courage to do it

or hasn't sat with his attorney yet, but he is out of this relationship.

And instead of doing a non-integrous thing with integrity,

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