My friends entitled mom tries to force her to have a baby with me, and it goes horribly wrong.

Here's what happened. Subscribe to Emma the jerk on YouTube and hit the bell to turn on notifications.

I used to have a female friend I'll call Tia. She was an okay person, but I didn't like her all

that much. Tia was a popular girl, and I was just a person who avoided all other human beings.

We didn't match and grew apart after this, but I'll always remember her because of her mother,

or the poor excuse for one. We were in town, and I was in a store buying white chocolate.

It has a different texture and taste compared to milk chocolate, and doesn't stick to the back of

my throat the same. Tia didn't like chocolate, so she was buying a twinkie. The store we were in had

a section dedicated to American sweets. To all of you Americans out there, you've got a very

diverse amount of sweets. Seriously, I didn't know that you could get licorice, caramel, or vanilla

doctor pepper, until I saw that section. I'm willing to come overseas to find out what other

future regrets you have in stores. Anyway, Tia and I were walking out of the shop when her mom

comes in. For the sake of the story, I'll mention that I have a unisex face and voice.

With the coat that I wear all the time, it's nearly impossible to see if I have honkers or not.

My hair is short, and my real life name is also unisex, so basically it's very easy to mistake

me for a lad. I think you understand the title a little better now. I'll call the woman Diana.

Diana says, um, Tia? This woman was wearing the ugliest brown shirt I have ever seen.

If she slathered herself in poo and deceased cats, it would be a major improvement,

and less of an eye sore. And this is coming from the girl who goes to stores in a Batman onesie

and believes it's fashion. Tia responds saying, yes, mom? Um, why have you been ignoring my text

and my phone calls, Tia? Tia says, mom, I don't want a baby. My eyebrows rocketed from my forehead.

Punched a hole in the ozone layer and looped around Mars and came back. I said, what the heck?

...