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Marcy welcome to the program. Hi, I'm Laura. Thank you very much for taking my call. You're welcome. I gotta say that I'm very like brand new to you. You are going to you through a friend.

Nancy, um, after my break up, I broke away my ex. What is April? I'm sorry. You broke up with an ex boyfriend or an ex husband ex boyfriend. Sorry. Yeah. Okay. How old are you? How old is he and how long were you dating?

I'm 31. He is 36 and we dated for 3 and a half years. We live together. Um, you shacked up. Yeah. Shacking up by the way outside of marriage has a bigger failure rate for relationships than not shacking up and getting married.

Because it's a different attitude. Shacking up has nothing to do with the commitment. So it changes how people perceive their own actions and the expectations they have for the other person and themselves. So that was a mistake. But the break up is caused by what?

Um, I seriously don't know how to move on. Um, the break up was the break up was caused by what?

Um, we were like, he was not into the relationship, you know, at this point, I wanted to get married and he was not for it. Like he, he was just so. No, he wanted to shack up. He didn't want to be obligated. Right.

So you did a stupid foolish thing, hoping if he drove the car long enough, he'd buy it.

Yeah. Okay. And hope you're not going to do this again.

I seriously won't do it here. I learned your book. I read your book. The 10 stupid things women can do to mess up their lives and definitely have some of them.

But I found out he's going to San Francisco with a girl this weekend. Yeah. Wait. Stop. Stop. Stop. There's no end of stupid foolish women. He found another one.

Yeah.

It's not love. You found another one.

Found another stupid foolish woman. Don't be jealous of that. Feel bad for her because at some point she's going to go, I want to be married.

And then she's terminal. And then eventually you can start a club.

Yeah. I know. I don't say I know. Don't say I know.

And if you're going to, if you call just to whine about, I miss him and it's hard to give it up. Of course it is.

You're just going to have to live through it. And remind yourself every time you miss him that you did a stupid foolish thing.

I mean, say it out loud. Every time you think about him, sex with him, coffee with him, a walk with him, watching him sleep and he's so cute.

Say to yourself, there was a stupid foolish thing and I wasted three and a half years of my life knowing damn well he was not going to marry me.

But I thought, you know, if he drives the car long enough, he'll never want it. No.

That didn't happen. And I don't know why I wake up like every day. Like I still have a job.

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