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I'm 11. Azad. Welcome to the program. Oh my God. Hi, Dr. Laura. How are you? Hi. Good.

What's up? So happy to talk to you. I was listening to your radio for a year. I never thought I'm going to call you actually and ask for some help.

So let's start with my age. I'm 35 years old and I'm a teacher and I'm on the floor as well. So I'm in a relationship now for a year.

I'm a teacher and the guy that I'm with is a very nice guy. He's too younger than me, but we have, we know our family. We are so good together and we have, we're supposed to get married next year.

We have a lot of like a long term plans with each other, but the problem is after after a year. Now I think we know we know that we have some problems.

So we love each other so much, but we have some conflict. Like I'm a drinker, not a drinking every day, but I love to drink. I love, I'll have a lot of energy. I want to do this and that.

But he's sort of the guy who wants to chill all the time. He will hate drinking because he works in L.C.V.O. and he stole all these drinkers and all our problem now is for him to ask me not drinking for a month.

Otherwise, you're going to end this relationship. And I was like, why? Like, even like Adam, Adam, Adam, Azad, yes, the right to decide what he wants in a woman.

You have the right to decide what you want in a man. He wants a non-drinking woman. Period. If you want him, you will have to get clean and sober and stay that way.

That's what he wants. If you want him, that's what you have to do. It's very simple. You can't argue about it. You can't be pissed off about it. That's what he wants in a woman.

In a woman. I have a problem. I know everybody decide what they want. Exactly. The thing is, I want to have him, but I want to enjoy my life as well.

You can't, you can't, Adam, you can't have both. You won't be married to him. That's all. It's not your decision. It's his. So if you want to keep up a sort of life, then he's not your mate. He's not your match. Love is not enough.

Knowing each other's families, not enough.

Just not enough.

Can I ask the question? So if you think if I'm quick drinking for a month that he wants, it means that I love you.

He's trying to get you to stop drinking and he's offering you a month to get into it. It's not that you drink for a month and a month in a day. You can go back to drinking. He won't marry you if you're a drinker.

He gave you a challenge to see if you'd change. If you don't wish to change, then he's not the man for you. And you're not the one for him. And it doesn't mean either one of you is bad.

Yeah.

Yes. Yes, exactly.

Yes, exactly. So I think it's hard for 35 years old girl to change. It's so hard.

It's hard because she's with my lifestyle that I was in my heart. It's different. And if you don't want to do it, stop whining and complaining and arguing about it. Just acknowledge it and move on and find somebody else who likes the lifestyle.

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