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basket we hope you enjoyed the podcast have a great day i'm andrew i'm an alcoholic

i'm super nervous right now um that's okay i'm just going to say what it was like what happened

what it's like now.

So, um, my earliest memories are, and this is something I heard when I first got sober and I definitely related to, um, my earliest memories of like social anxiety.

Like, I can remember when I was a kid just like laying in bed, just like beating myself up

for things that I'd said in the day

or what I'm doing or how I felt. And I've heard people say, and I definitely relate,

that I didn't know how uncomfortable I was until I took my first drink, and I felt that relief.

For me, it was definitely that sort of white light experience.

It actually was an alcohol.

The first time I really, I tried drinking a little bit before that.

But where I grew up, I grew up in Hollister, California.

And there was a predominant Latino gang there that I hung out with.

And so the first time I really got fucked up,

I smoked PCP. I was like 12. And that was like, um, that was like the first time I felt that real relief. That really takes you out of yourself. So, and I mean, I hate the ground running. I mean, I grew up

also really Christian. And so I didn't really know about, like, social taboos at all around drinking.

So I started drinking right away in the morning because I loved it so much. I was like,

why wouldn't I drink before I go to school like in New York grade

and

so yeah I mean things got bad for me pretty quick

...