Thanks to you at home for joining us.

This is so I'm really happy to have you here.

So I do not live in Texas.

I like Texas very much, but I have never spent all that much time there.

I've never put down roots there.

I definitely do not own a house in Texas.

Relatedly, because I do not live in Texas and I don't have a house in Texas and I haven't visited there at all this past year,

I did not need to be rescued in the Texas floods this month, nor was I in Texas

personally rescuing people from the Texas floods when they happened.

Also, just so you know, I do not have a long-lost daughter with whom I have recently been reunited.

I do not have a daughter. I do not have a baby. I do not have a baby on the way. No kids, no kids at all.

I've never had a baby myself. My partner, Susan, never had a baby. We've never had a baby myself. My partner Susan never had a baby.

We've never adopted a baby or had a baby by surrogacy

or by any other means by which one might reasonably

end up with a baby.

So no house in Texas, nothing to do with the terrible Texas floods.

I don't have a long-lost daughter.

I don't have any kind of baby anyway, anyhow.

I also have not been fired by MSNBC.

Look, here I am.

I still work here.

You see me now on MSNBC.

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