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The Heart

Mr. Claus + Mrs. Claus

The Heart

Kaitlin Prest

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.52.3K Ratings

🗓️ 22 December 2015

⏱️ 5 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You’ve got a squeeze on Christmas Eve? You know you’ll have their lovin’ — but what about ol’ Mrs. Claus? Her man’s out — she’s got nuffin! In our retelling of “The Night Before Christmas,” join lonely Mrs. Claus as she searches for affection in the most unlikely of places.

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Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey heart listeners! I hope you're enjoying this show. We just have a quick request.

0:06.0

We are conducting a survey to hear from you, our listeners.

0:10.0

Just go to survey.prx.org slash heart to take the survey today.

0:15.0

Let us know what you think. We're so excited to hear from you.

0:18.0

That's survey.prx.org slash heart. Survey.prx.org slash heart.

0:26.0

It means a lot to us. Happy listening!

0:29.0

From prx's radio topia. Welcome to the heart.

0:36.0

I'm Caitlin Prest.

0:38.0

And today we have a special holiday treat just for you.

0:42.0

To us the night before Christmas and at the North Pole, the old big man was out, giving kids, toys and coal.

1:07.0

But up in the factory was a jolly old crone. Why our friend misses claws, feeling rather alone.

1:15.0

Oh I do miss my husband. She wailed. Where is he? Why do all sweet hearts cuddle tonight? Except me.

1:24.0

As she closed up the shop and turned out the last light, she sighed.

1:30.0

Why can I not share my bed this fine night?

1:34.0

She tightened her scarf and off-home our claws lumbered. She then passed by the houses where all the elves slumbered.

1:42.0

Ah the elves, their green hats and their pointy red shoes, they could always clear up her most gloomiest blues.

1:52.0

But alas, they were sleeping. All tucked in and snoring.

1:59.0

Well, Humphed Mrs. Claus. This night sure to be boring.

2:04.0

As she trudged through the snow with her nose turning red, she thought,

2:10.0

What if I welcomed some elves to my bed?

2:14.0

Yes, there are all speedy workers with small nimble digits.

2:19.0

As she had this idea, Mrs. Claus got the fidgets.

...

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