Mouse Hunt

Mom Can't Cook! A DCOM Podcast

Luke Westaway & Andy Farrant

Tv & Film, Comedy

5.0 • 944 Ratings

🗓️ 19 January 2026

⏱️ 139 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

What if Home Alone starred a mouse instead of Kevin McCallister, and what if the Wet Bandits legally owned the house he was murdering them in? These are the questions that only Mouse Hunt is brave enough to ask.

When brothers Ernie and Lars Smuntz inherit a dilapidated old mansion from their father, their disappointment turns to excitement when they realise that it is a lost architectural masterpiece that could earn them millions of dollars. Unfortunately for them however, the house is now inhabited by one super intelligent, pitiless rodent who will stop at nothing to make sure these men's skeletons are pulverised, their bodies set on fire and any other pets they acquire are killed. Can Ernie and Lars best this beast and sell the missing LaRue mansion? Is the mouse justified in its roaring rampage of revenge? And is string cheese just one long piece of cheese tied up in a ball? Listen and find out!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I'm a fish boy who skates for team X-blades with a lepricorn who plays basketball.
0:09.0	Come to my smart house.
0:11.0	Me my alien sister don't come hungry because I'll bet my mom can't cook. Hello and welcome to Mom Can't Cook. I'm one of your hosts, Luke Westaway.
0:29.0	And I'm the other host, Andy Farron. Welcome. Great news, Luke, by the way. I'm meant to tell you before we started recording, but I guess I'll have to tell you now.
0:36.3	You know our distant father?
0:38.5	Yep.
0:38.9	Who owns that big podcasting factory? Yeah? Well, he hasn't bloody died, does he?
0:44.1	Yes, he's died. Okay. That's the first bit of good news. The second bit of good news is that he has bequeathed us this podcast. Mom can't cook a decom podcast. It's all ours.
0:56.3	Oh, but look around. This podcast's a dump. It's worthless. Yeah, well, that's the thing.
1:01.2	We're going to need to make one good episode so we can sell it. Fix it up.
1:06.5	Podcast collectors. Yeah, exactly. So get your paint, get your planks, get your good opinions about decoms.
1:14.4	Let me warm up my voice. I'm ready to do one good podcast. Here we go. And then we'll be rich.
1:20.0	What is that? What is it? What? It's probably nothing. I just thought I saw a lizard.
1:25.2	A lizard of the corner of my eye to sort of scurry through the podcast studio. But nothing, probably a trick of a lot. Wait, no, hang on. Have you noticed something about this podcast, Andy? There's no flies in it. Something like you're eating them. Well, I did have a few earlier. I was hungry. Unlike other podcasts, this one isn't filthy with flies. Unlike all other podcasts, it's not swarming with vermin. You're right. Maybe I wasn't imagining it.
1:49.0	Imagining that lizard. Well, it's fine. We'll simply deal with that lizard and do our good
1:55.3	podcast. I think I see the lizard. It's right behind you, Luke. Let me just get let me just get the shotgun down off the wall. Yep. Okay. Aiming squarely into my rib cage. Yeah, I'll just shoot through you and hit the lizard on the other side. Hit the lizard. Yeah, that'll be fine. We'll be able to afford the finest medical care once we do our good episode. Yeah, exactly. Fire away. Oh, no, it ran into a hole.
2:17.7	Oh, nuts.
2:18.8	Well, speaking of holes,
2:20.2	how about this big one in my rib cage?
2:21.6	Yeah, that's the hole it ran into.
2:23.3	Oh, no.
2:24.7	Yeah, I know.
	...

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