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I think most of us would agree that teens tend to struggle a lot with identity.

The big question is how can you and I as moms and dads help them through that time?

I'm John Fuller along with Danny Werther and last time we learned that actually we can't help

our kids too much or swooping and rescue them too much because that disrupts natural consequences

and natural development. But Danny, I think we parents can at least help our kids feel like they belong within our family. That's something you affirm time and again that we accept and love our kids just as they are, prickly pairs that they may be.

Sometimes that alone can kind of reduce some of the behavioral issues we talked about last time, right?

Very definitely, John.

The sense of belonging can create a loyalty to the group they're a part of,

and it can calm down the need for defensiveness and other things that they may be using in order to maybe prove a point or gain control.

And as a parent, if you can take away the the personalness of what

they're doing not taking it so personally but looking at the fact that they're

still wrestling on how to manage emotions and feelings and in this

sense that maybe they're not competent at something or maybe they don't feel a sense

of worth or or maybe they don't feel like they belong somewhere all these

insecurities as a parent you get to dive into

those places with them so if you can step back from the current situation and see they belong in this

family. What can I give them in the moment non-verbally to help

them feel like I'm here with them.

Yeah.

And now you know I may have to put a boundary and that's okay.

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