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We are going to be more theerick. We speak to you from our

present which we can only assume is your distant past, the turbulent time that was

the early 21st century. Fearing the great cataclysm that will surely befall our civilization, we began this

monumental reference of strange and obscure human knowledge.

These recordings represent our attempt to compile and preserve wonders and esoterica that would otherwise be lost.

So whether you're listening from an advanced civilization or have just reinvented the technology to decrypt our transmissions,

this is our legacy to you.

This is our time capsule.

This is the omnibus. Oh, You have accessed entry 675.

MK 0333, certificate number 12952.

Mother Jones. Have you ever considered unionizing this show?

I'm kind of afraid that

...