Hello and welcome to Season 3, Episode 8 of Bad Gays, a podcast about evil and complicated queers in history.

I'm Ben Miller, a writer, researcher, and member of the board of the Shulis Museum in Berlin.

And I'm Hugh Lemmy, a writer and author.

Last week, we talked about Eileen Warnas, a serial killer whose sexuality became part of a sensational media story about her killing spree.

Who's our subject this week, Hugh?

This week I want to talk about Morrissey.

I want to start this week's episode to talk a little bit about how this particular

bad gay influenced me.

I think it's fair to say I was an outsider as a teenager.

I was a bit of an odd kid, the only gay person in my school, or openly gay person in my school, and I was subject to my fair share of bullying as a result.

But I struggled to find role models outside of that in wider culture. This was during the years of Section 28, so I felt isolated and alone in my sexuality.

But a lot of US and even British popular culture that offered different examples didn't really ring true to how I was. I wasn't particularly outgoing, I was bookish. But with that, the sort of

sneering superiority that bookish kids who don't fit in can adopt as a defence mechanism.

There seemed very few cultural figures who spoke about that combination,

of feeling disgusted with my abject undesirable body,

confused and driven half mad by the idea of sex,

misunderstood thanks to what I assumed was my superior intelligence,

curious about obscure dead authors, hungry

for escape for recognition. Then one day I discovered the Smiths. In their music, and especially

the lyrics of their lead singer, Morrissey, I found someone who turned all those aspects of my

identity that had helped me down or ostracized me into something that

made them stand out and shine.

...