Hi, this is Janet Lansbury, welcome to Unruffold.

Today I have a question from a parent and what I found very interesting about this is

she brings up several ideas that are commonly misunderstood in terms of my advice.

Ostensibly her concern is about her daughter struggling in the mornings melting down and

not giving her mother a chance to take care of her own needs without calling and calling

for her, even though her father is there to help at those times.

But the terms I want to discuss here are attachment, connection, comfort, and then overall boundaries.

Before I begin.

Alright, let's start with the email I received.

Dear Janet, for years your podcast has been relatable and reassuring.

As Kitto S. Newer's age 4 though, I'm finding fewer resources that address our situation.

And between preschool and pediatrician visits, S checks out as developmentally typical.

One problem is that she starts nearly every day screaming and wailing.

It seems attachment related.

She'll sometimes walk into our bed and snuggle happily for a bit.

But our routine is that I, mama, do the bedtime routine and dad does the morning routine.

So when I get up, S starts screaming for me.

She and her dad are super close and he's there to comfort her.

But she'll just scream, mommy, mommy, over and over.

She usually calls me mama or mommy.

So this mommy thing only happens when she's melted down and it gets right under my skin

and makes me want to run away.

...