So Bob, emails, let's do it. What do you say?

Yep, let's do them anonymous patron from New York. She says, my summary of, oh, this is my

summary of her email. This is my notes. So she had a long email, but I think she's asking,

how do you deal with people who went in a fight, deny their feelings, and speak as though

their feelings are facts? Like you always contradict me instead of I feel hurt by you. So

how do you deal with people like a partner, when in a fight, they deny their feelings,

and speak as though everything is factual? You always do this to me. How do you deal with that, Bob?

What would you say? Not well. That's really hard. Yeah, but you know, I guess I'm thinking two

people with their heart rates up, they're probably not going to deal with anything very well.

Might be good to just take a half an hour and let the dust settle. I know that's hard,

easy to say and hard to do, but when somebody is provoked, you know, and that's their strategy,

you always are you never, whatever. You're not going to logic that out. And I don't even know if

you're going to empathize with it in such a way that gets it to slow down either.

Yeah. Maybe you could do that in a couple therapy with a couple therapists kind of slowing things

down or whatever, but two people on their own, I don't think so. I think we're going to bump,

and then we need to take a break and then come back and under calm circumstance,

explore that, learn about it if you want to. Yeah, you only I'll say in addition, and this is my

own personal journey with this is I have come to the acceptance that everyone or most people

are terrible communicators. And and I it's my if I want to live a happy life, I have to read

between the lines. And so what I'm hoping for is almost never going to happen. And that's

I'm talking to Bob, you know, but I'm talking to anyone else. I'm almost never going to get

the a straight differentiated response from someone about their experience or their emotions

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