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Callsome Media.

Hello and welcome to this week's better off-line monologue.

I'm your host, that's it.

Tron.

Betta-offline.

I could not, for the life of me, work out what I wanted to talk about for this week's

monologue. I am a little burned out. And Robert and Sophie are telling me I should take a break

sometime and I will at some point everyone I promise. But I was seeing and thinking last night

about what I was going to do today and I ended up sketching out some thoughts. And I realized that this show genuinely helped me turn my life around. It's a little dramatic. But BetRofline really truly helped me leave a very dark place I was in in April 2024. I would argue it on some degree saved my life, and I will tell you how today.

It's a monologue. You already had a great interview with Karen Howe this week. I'm going to give you a

little schmaltz, a little bit of who I really am. And I worry this is ferociously self-involved

or pretentious, but at least it's from the heart, right?

So back when I started the show in early 2024, I was really lost as a person, but also was someone who would call themselves a creative. I'd agreed to do the show and knew I was capable

of pushing out content, but my personal life had become, let's just say, very bad. I was in a bad

situation, I was overweight, I was unhappy. Therapy was kind of grinding at me. It didn't feel like it was changing anything because I was kind of in a depressive state where I didn't want to talk to anyone, which is why I wouldn't talk to my friends at all. And I had this fucking podcast I had to do that I love the idea of, but I lacked confidence. I

lacked the piss and vinegar you know me for today. And one day, as I struggled to work out

what the fuck I was doing that week, I sat down to write the script for an episode about

Sheehan, which is a Chinese clothing giant that grew its brand entirely online. And it was coming up on my birthday, April 25th, and it's a day I really enjoy. So I was pushing myself to do something, anything, to get this episode off my plate, and move on to planning the day, which was a few weeks out, that would end up being dog shit like it always was. And I was bought. I didn't care about Sheehan. I didn't care what I was doing. I didn't think you would either. And I sat there thinking about whether or not I could realistically do better offline anymore or my newsletter or really end of this crap. And what can I say? My birthday kind of sucks and it always kind of led me to a weird slump. But I was in one that day anyway. I was really not in a great place. And if I'm honest, I was kind of spiraling. So I closed this Google Doc and I sat, teary-eyed, staring at the ceiling. Barboo, my cat was on top of me, kind of, I was sat at this table and he shoved himself kind of on top of my knees, which he does when he knows I'm hurting, which is lovely. And I sat there

thinking about things, and I was drafting in my head something about not doing the newsletter

anymore and wondering how the fuck I was going to do 40 or so more episodes. I was really quite

...