Hello there and today I'm going to be going over the much anticipated monkey news for 2025.

And by the way, you can stop messaging me about it now. At least twice a week, I get a message like, when are you doing monkey news? When are you doing monkey news?

Nice gestures you're doing there, Harry. And now I'm doing it, all right? I said I'll do it at

Christmas and here you are, my gift to you. I'm going through all of the years monkey news

sequentially, starting from

January to November, because we're pre-recording this at the end of November, so I can't do

December's Monkey News because I don't have my Monkey News crystal ball, but I will roll that into

next year, as I'm sure. The great heartbreak about Monkey News, of course, is that it can only

be a Christmas treat. That's true. It can't be all year, because we don't want to spoil you with Monkey News. And also, monkeys aren't that industrious. It takes a whole year to accrue enough news for one segment. Monkeys are comparable with Ents from Lords of the Rings in that way. They take their time to do things. Yeah, that's the reason we've never been able to figure out their language,

is that they just take a really long time.

But anyway, there is a bit of a running theme.

Last year's Monkey News was a little bit whimsical and fun.

This one is a story of a war between monkeys and people,

starting in January of this year.

Man versus Monkey.

I know.

Who's your bets on?

Monkey, honestly.

Pet Monkey jumps through, drive-thru window, and attacks Starbucks worker in Mobile, Alabama, or Mobile.

I don't know how you would say it there, but I would say mobile.

And it is an aotus monkey.

It announced it Alabama as well. I know, I'm English.

...