Monday Morning Podcast 12-16-24

Monday Morning Podcast

All Things Comedy

Comedy

4.8 • 32.8K Ratings

🗓️ 16 December 2024

⏱️ 57 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bill rambles about robot patrol, 'sell-by' dates, and the barber shop.

SimpliSafe: SimpliSafe is extending its massive Black Friday deal for my listeners. This week only, you can get 50% off any new system with a select professional monitoring plan. This is your last chance to claim their best offer of the year at www.SimpliSafe.com/BURR

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hey, what's going on?
0:02.6	It's Bill Burr.
0:03.4	It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, December 16th,
0:08.4	2020.
0:10.9	What's going on?
0:12.2	How are you?
0:14.3	There's only nine days left before.
0:18.1	Here come Santa Claus.
0:19.6	Here come Santa Claus. Skipping all the Jews and the Muslims and the Buddhists, but he's coming for yous.
0:32.6	He never talks about Jesus, but he's on the same team.
0:38.4	According to corporations, how did it get so fucking out of hand?
0:44.6	Me and my lovely wife took the kids to see Santa Claus the other day.
0:49.6	My daughter's almost eight, so she's already going.
0:51.7	That's not the real Santa Claus at the mall.
0:54.5	And I'm looking at her like, hey, that's not the half of it.
0:59.5	It's so crazy that you start their life with that big fucking lie and then, you know,
1:06.6	as a parent, like, I feel like lying to them about Santa Claus is they gradually figure it out.
1:11.9	I feel like Donnie Brasco, like I'm wearing a wire.
1:16.6	And, you know, Donnie started to feel for Al Pacino's character.
1:22.1	He felt bad and everything.
1:23.2	These are my kids.
1:23.9	How do you think I feel?
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from All Things Comedy, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of All Things Comedy and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.