Monday, 03.06.23

Church of Lazlo Podcasts

Audacy

Comedy

4.9 • 1.7K Ratings

🗓️ 7 March 2023

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Lazlo describes Everything Everywhere All At Once. Slimfast has been scared to watch it because he's worried it will "make [him] anxious" but Lazlo is tough and was happy to take one for the team. If you haven't seen it yet, you're going to want to see it now. *What are the funniest movies of all time? Well someone thinks they have the answer but we have a few objections. *Was the divorce your fault? What was the moment you knew that the relationship was over? Did you leave iMessages on your iPad and then leave that iPad with your wife at the house while you were out dirty texting someone else? *Doomscrolling! A Southwest flight had to make an emergency landing after striking birds in the air and losing an engine. Ja Morant has been suspended for showing off a gun on Instagram Live. A guitar player from Jacksonville died at 71. Tom Sizemore died at 61. Chris Rock addressed the Will Smith incident in his live special on Netflix this weekend. The CEO of Ford wants you to take a nap on the highway. *Who are the worst celebs to serve at a restaurant? The internet claims to have answers. *How do you spot a classy woman? Do you want to spot a classy woman? Are their downsides to dating someone too classy? *Thanks for listening! Please visit our website www.lazlo.church and remember to watch us record the podcast live each weekday from 2p-6p central at twitch.tv/chruchoflazlo We'd also love to chat with you on reddit r/churchoflazlo Have a great day and we'll see you tomorrow.

Transcript

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0:00.0	The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men.
0:11.0	Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness.
0:18.0	For he is truly his brother's keeper and finder of lost children.
0:24.0	And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious hinder those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.
0:35.0	And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.
0:42.0	Ladies and gentlemen, the Church of Lazlo has begun.
0:48.0	Yo! What's going on? Not much. How are you, man? I'm great, man. How was your weekend? Good. Good. So come. Wonderful.
0:55.0	You, uh, you guys know anything fun? No, not really. Did you watch anything good? Oh, Lazlo, Friday. Yeah.
1:02.0	When you were leaving here, you had a gummy in your hand. I did. And you said, I'm gonna, I'm gonna eat this and watch everything everywhere all at once. I did that.
1:12.0	I said, I don't know if I recommend that or not. I did that. I've heard you shouldn't do that. You did do it. I did.
1:16.0	You didn't tell me about it. How was it? I haven't seen it. Did you freak out? Yeah. Did you freak out? I heard that if you're hiding, you watch it. You'll freak out.
1:23.0	No. No. Really? I mean, I watched it. I got like halfway through and I was like, all right, whatever. I don't get it.
1:32.0	And so I carried on something else. You know, some tensile Washington or something. I was like, it was a two guns.
1:38.0	Something, right? I was like, all right, this will be better. But it wasn't because you were anxious, sir. No, I was like, I don't get it.
1:46.0	That's what I went back and was like, all right, the next day I was like, all right, let me finish this. I got, I watched half of it. Let me finish it.
1:53.0	Yeah. You just see what happens. I don't know, man. Well, okay, well, I've had a buddy of mine, a buddy of mine recommended it to instead.
2:01.0	My brother said it was great after he said, you know, I got choked up at the end. And so I was like, okay. And then I watched it.
2:08.0	And I, isn't it up for best picture? Okay. And what's his name who played data in Goonies? He's in it now. Yeah.
2:15.0	And he was nominated for an Oscar. He worked Golden Globe for it, right? Oh, he did. Okay. Oh, yeah, that's right because Steven Spielberg said something to him. He was crying.
2:22.0	Okay. So is he good at it? I mean, well, yeah, I think he's good at it. Is he his, is he her husband? Yes. Okay. And then what? It starts off like a normal thing.
2:33.0	It was the family. You see them. And then what they start changing universes. Well, yeah, I guess they're a family in the owner laundromat.
2:39.0	And there's an IRS agent who's auditing them. And people are going to be like, you don't get any of this because I mean, part of me was like, maybe I'm not smart enough for this.
	...

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