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It does feel like sometimes we've been sold this big lie our generations.

Because I think growing up, particularly through the sort of 70s and 80s,

we were told that having it all and having a big career and having money is what would make us happy.

And yet, as that half of study that you just referenced showed,

it's actually the opposite of all that that shows real happiness.

It's actually how regulated is our nervous system.

How well are we able to be vulnerable and to connect?

Yeah, and also to deal with the very sad feelings.

So there are a lot of what therapists are called living losses. I mean, there'll be the loss of your fertility.

Your children leave home, I mean,

emptiness is just horrific. You can't even imagine it when you've got young children, you just

can't imagine it. But, you know, setting a dinner table with one person missing is just awful.

So all these little losses happen. And instead of trying to sort of distract yourself from feeling those feelings, you've really

got to feel all of those feelings.

And you will have actual losses.

So grief will become, you know, the least favorite.

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