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When I was reading the book and diving into your work, I was thinking, you know,

everyone knows if you ask someone, what's important in a marriage? That word intimacy would

come up. Someone would say, well, we have to be intimate.

I think people think that's about physical relationship or how much sense you mean.

I don't think that at all now.

I think intimacy is, can I bring something that's on the inside of me that I might be embarrassed

to say really upset me?

Can I actually bring that to you and can you

hold that for me? And if you can't, I'm going to be slowly edging away. And then the intimacy goes and

then everything else crumbles, doesn't it? And I've had experience of this where, you know,

I've bought things to my husband said, you know, that thing that you said when we were in front of

people the other day?

That made me feel really embarrassed. I felt like you were sort of taking piss out of me and he's done that thing.

Like, we've talked about it since. And I think he gets it because he's done that thing. He's like, what?

That don't be ridiculous. It's like, ah, am I safe to bring my insights to you? Isn't that like the core of a good, lasting,

healthy marriage? Can I bring the stuff that might be embarrassing to me or really vulnerable to me?

...