I'll now hand you over to my best man, Eddie.

Wow, wow, wow, second time's a charm, eh, Billy Boy?

Oh God.

Substitution, courtesy of Paddy Power, embarrassing Eddie, makes way for sensible Samuel.

Cool, that was close.

You might not always pick the right starter, but your sub can still deliver.

Because with Paddy's super sub, your bet rolls over to the player coming on. Paddy Power. Valid on selected leagues

and markets only. Pre-match and in-play bets on qualifying player outcome selections only. T's and

exclusions apply. 18 plus scummelaware.org.

11 police officers turned out. Yeah. They basically said you had committed a hate crime

by using that F word in a private text message.

I was in also shock.

If the state can pry on our private conversations, that really does take us into Orwellian territory.

You don't have a free nation there.

Who cares if she was like, you know what, I am homophobic?

And I said it because I'm homophobic.

That's her business. You can say what you want. Something can be a homophobic slur, even if a person doesn't realize that that's what they're doing. Andrew, would you use that word? Sure, you use it all the time. It's one of the best ways to describe friends, right? Any minute now, we are going to see the annual controversy about the Pog's great song,

Fairytale of New York, which has the famous lyric, you scumbag, you maggot, you cheap, lousy.

The Oxford English Dictionary is just named Ragebate as its word of the year.

They define it as content deliberately designed to elicit outrage by being frustrating, provocative, or offensive.

I thought it was only appropriate to mention that story,

given the hullabaloo over my polite reticence

...