meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber

Mishka Shubaly, Singer/Songwriter

The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber

The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber

Society & Culture, Personal Journals

4.62.6K Ratings

🗓️ 2 June 2020

⏱️ 27 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

“I held Nate's face as far away from me as I could so that he couldn't hit me. And then with my right hand I tried to destroy him”

Mishka has an MFA in writing, but prefers to live out of his van while touring as a musician. He is a storyteller, a songwriter, and a shipwreck survivor.

https://twitter.com/MishkaShubaly/

https://www.instagram.com/mishkashubaly/?hl=en

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

I wrote this in the first week of April 2020 during a global pandemic.

0:19.4

I finally had a really good cry this week.

0:22.7

The inciting incident wasn't remarkable.

0:25.7

I was just reading over something I wrote years ago when I was still in my parish.

0:30.5

It was an essay about Holy Week and before I could even prepare for them, the tears came.

0:38.0

At first, I was crying from the grief of a beautiful time in my life that I will never have

0:43.4

again.

0:44.7

Then I was crying about Holy Week this year being so completely fucked because we're all

0:48.6

stuck in our homes.

0:50.7

Then I was crying because I wondered was I as present as I could have been during that

0:55.6

time in my life?

0:57.6

Then I was crying because I realized how similar this feels to when I look at pictures of my

1:02.8

children from when they were toddlers.

1:05.5

When I wonder if I was too caught up in the exhaustion and challenges of motherhood to

1:10.8

have soaked up the magic of it, then I was crying, wondering if I only seemed to appreciate

1:17.7

the beauty of my life in retrospect.

1:20.9

Then I was crying because I wish I had been a better mother.

1:23.9

Then I was crying because my friend Rachel Didey or I miss her.

1:28.7

I don't know why grief's delivery system is so inefficient like this.

1:33.7

How it seems to drop off all its packages at once no matter when they happen to have

1:38.0

been shipped.

1:39.6

All I know is that when sadness shows up, it's like it puts its foot in the door and waves

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of The Confessional with Nadia Bolz-Weber and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.