Hello and welcome to Not So Mali Mormon podcast, minisodes.

Today's email comes from Sammy.

Sammy writes, I grew up in Logan, Utah.

I was always told to go on a mission and be the perfect little Molly Mormon.

I was supposed to be baptized and marrying in the temple.

I remember being eight years old and rarely went to church.

My mom told me I had to be baptized because they had an image to maintain.

I remember feeling confused, but went along with it.

When I was going through my baptism interview, the bishop asked me many questions that I didn't know the answer to. My mom sat next to me

and whispered the answers in my ear. My parents were what you would call Jack Mormons. They

wouldn't go to church, but they would make me especially go to church by

myself each week. I remember sitting alone a lot and dreaded being there. I didn't understand

why I had to go by myself. I asked my mom one day and she explained that it was because I would

turn out like her if I didn't. I was very upset by that remark. I always thought the world of my mom. She wasn't

perfect, but she did a good job at raising us. I continued to go because I didn't hear the end of it if I

didn't. I hated going to church, and young women's especially. My award was very clicky, and they

rarely included me. My young women's leaders would post on my Facebook

if I missed a week stating, quote, we missed you. Looking back through Facebook memories, I see it was

more often than not they would just post on my timeline instead of reach out directly. I ended up going

because they would also bring it up in church, and I remember

one leader telling me, quote, you need to prioritize Jesus over your earthly wants.

Duff. I started going after that because of Mormon guilt, but I would often sneak out during the

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