Hello and welcome to a not-so-Molly Mormon podcast. This is Katie and today I have part three of Sarah's Mormon exit story. So we left off where she was in the temple and she was remembering how weird it was that she saw her soon-to-be husband in the temple garb and

the men and the women were on opposite sides of the room. And she ended with, oh boy, little did I

know what was coming next. So buckle up. Let's go. The rest of the endowment made me feel increasingly uncomfortable.

As it continued, I remember stressing out about everything that was going on and how would I remember

all these signs and tokens and what would happen if I got to heaven and forgot the handshakes?

I remember feeling so much fear and anxiety. I remember the prayer circle, and my husband and I and I and

his grandparents went up to join in, and I remember looking around the circle at everyone dressed

up in their robes and aprons, and the men in their funny baker's hats, and the women with the veils over their

faces, and I felt so strange and out of place. And then sitting in the celestial room after going

through the veil, and looking around at this beautiful room and everyone dressed in white,

and speaking in hushed tones, and saying how wonderful and spiritual it was.

And here I was, feeling so terribly confused about everything I'd just experienced

and wondering why I didn't feel the spirit like everyone else

and why I felt so uneasy inside.

And then thinking, well, it must be my fault.

I mustn't be righteous enough or worthy enough.

The amount of times that we've heard this, this almost exact thing that people would get major anxiety and confusion and fear and panic attacks for some people.

Yet they're looking around at everyone else and everyone else seems fine or is saying how

wonderful it is when probably those people are also experiencing anxiety as well.

Yeah, we've heard so many stories that are so similar to this. I remember going to our motel room after the temple and looking at myself in the

mirror, wearing these garments, and crying to my husband because I felt hideous and ugly. I mean,

I knew I was supposed to wear them. It's not like it came as a shock to me, but I wasn't prepared

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