Hello and welcome to Not So Mali Mormon podcast minisodes. Today I am going to be reading a letter sent in from Keiana. It reads,

Hello there. After listening to your most recent episode, I felt very inclined and drawn to share with you my story.

I have been listening to your podcast for almost a year or so and have loved hearing the stories you have shared.

And although I do relate to many, I feel my story is also so different.

So I would love to share that with you

today if you take the time to read this, but be prepared, it might turn into quite the novel.

Girl, I'm prepared. And I do have to mention that it is my story, but also the story of someone

who was my best friend. My brother who passed away the summer of 2017. I'm sorry. He had special

needs and will forever be my why. He will forever be the reason I keep going to live the life

he never got to live. So I was born and raised in the church. I come from a long line of Mormons. I once tracked my family tree all the way back to supposedly Adam and Eve, L.O.L. I think that's so funny. I've had people who have claimed that as well. And I have a friend who actually said that she met someone who claimed to trace their

lineage back to Jesus Christ. I mean, it was just funny to me. I was the molliest of the Molly Mormons.

In high school, I shit you not. I told a kid that every time he cursed it was a sin i never once questioned

what i was taught and followed so blindly of course i had my trials but followed what the

mormons taught about what truly is toxic positivity i pretended all the bad stuff was fine

and i quote unquote chose to be happy.

I never thought I would be where I am today. I just, I wanted to just be the best Mormon and get

married in the temple. The summer before my senior year was when my life truly changed. As I mentioned, I have a brother

who passed away that summer. His name was Keegan, and he was my best friend from the day he was

born. I was a year and a half older than him, but I told everyone growing up that we were twins.

He truly was and is the light of my life. Kagan started to get sick in the beginning of June.

Since he had special needs, getting sick unfortunately wasn't uncommon for him.

Me thinking he would get better, I decided to take a trip with my then-boyfriend to Portland,

...