Welcome to this on-air with Ella minisode, a little bite-sized boost to your day, always quick,

always thought-provoking, and always under 10 minutes. Let's go.

When we talk about confidence as the ability to trust in oneself, to me, that means that we have to be

able to lean on our own intuition. But Kelly,

in that case, we need to know what the heck our intuition is, how to listen to it, what it means,

what that still small voice looks like and sounds like, and how do we trust it? And I don't know

about you, but I would say that for, let's say, from the age of 34 to 44,

just in round numbers, I wasn't listening to my intuition and I was running hard and fast

and staying incredibly busy. Sometimes I wonder, Kelly, if it was in an effort to not ever

have to dial in to my intuition.

Oh my gosh. I always tell women, and I ask them, if you're listening right now, you can just ask

yourself this question. At what age did you go on your first diet? Or did you kind of start to think,

oh, I'm reading this beauty magazine or watching the commercials and I need to, you know,

do something different with my body than I really want to because somebody is telling me that

my body is wrong. I believe that women stops trusting their intuition from probably around age eight

to when beauty magazines or the diet industry said, oh, I know you're hungry, but you shouldn't eat. Like there's just nudgings and things happening in our body that we learn to override from a very young age. And so then, you know, we get into high school. We got all the things. We get into college. We get into work. And we're told that there is a way that you should be to be happy and successful. And this is the list of all the things that you need to do. Like we're checking off items like a boss. I'm like, yeah, I'm getting married young and I'm going to have kids young because it'll be a young mom and I'll have energy and then I'll go to grad school and then I'll get the corner office. I mean, check, check, check, check, check. Whatever your list is from your family of origin. And let me tell you, there were times I remember before I even walked down the aisle with my first husband. Like something was nudging me. Like, Kelly, are you sure? Are you sure? I didn't have the wherewithal in myself. You know, because my brain just kept jumping in and overriding my intuition saying, oh, you're in too deep. You can't call this off. What will people think?

Your dad spent so much money. And so, you know what? We do it. And then we get into jobs and maybe somebody says, ooh, you should do this thing or make this decision or go into this career. And something feels off. Like we get a little nudging. But then our brains go, oh, Kelly, don't do that. you know, this person has a lot of faith in you and they look really happy and successful and it's the right thing and you don't want to disappoint them. And it wasn't until I was married for seven years and I got divorced. I immediately got into another relationship again and I was with that person for five years. And I finally had the kind of, you know, the awareness that was like, I can't go through with this wedding.

And just I was sick.

I was physically sick.

Things were like breaking down and happening, you know, inside my body.

I even remember going to the doctor at some point because I thought I had like an intestinal thing. Well, as it turns out, like I was so tight from clenching all day at work from

stress. It was just internal muscle stuff. And I'll never forget, I had a coworker come in who

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