Hello, friends, and welcome to the mini edit from Edit Your Life.

In these snack-sized mini episodes, I answer your questions about everything from self-care

to parenting, to relationships, to home, and more. Think of me like that friend you text or

call when you need a quick piece of compassionate and candid advice.

Send me your questions.

Today's mini is inspired by an essay I wrote called Focusing on the Now instead of the what-ifs.

It is a call to do away with false certainty and urgency in parenting.

A little bit of context.

I am one of seven siblings, all one to two years apart.

So though I was not a kid who dreamed about getting married and having kids, I think at some subconscious level, I always assumed that first it wouldn't be difficult to have kids

when I decided I was ready for it. And second, that they would be born at two year gaps.

Laurel followed my first assumption, not long after feeling ready, whatever the heck that

means when you're in your 20s and clueless about parenting, I found myself pregnant.

And a couple of years later, when I felt ready, again, whatever that means when you have

a toddler and are sleep deprived, I found myself on the

sad and challenging roller coaster of ovulation tracking, period watching, temperature taking,

and feeling like a failure every four to eight weeks when my period landed. As any person who

wishes to conceive but can't understands, it is really hard to be in that space.

And at some point, after learning that secondary infertility was a thing, I decided to make my

peace with having one kid.

I felt good, happy, grateful.

I donated all of the baby gear I had put in storage for my second child.

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