4.8 β’ 787 Ratings
ποΈ 17 June 2020
β±οΈ 3 minutes
ποΈ Recording | iTunes | RSS
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0:00.0 | Hi, you're listening to Small Things Often from the Gottman Institute, where we talk you through research-based tips to help improve your relationships in five minutes or less. |
0:10.8 | Today's tip is about strengthening relationships through mindfulness. |
0:14.9 | Wait a minute, you're probably thinking, isn't the practice of mindfulness mainly for my benefit? |
0:22.6 | How does it impact my relationship? |
0:30.1 | The answer? Enormously. And here's why. Mindfulness is about compassion and non-judgmental awareness, all qualities that are essential in an intimate loving partnership. Not only will |
0:35.6 | mindfulness improve your relationship in times of happiness, |
0:38.3 | but also when times are tough, because by being aware of what you're feeling in highly emotional |
0:43.3 | times, you can break through habitual negative thoughts and behaviors you might have hanging around. |
0:48.8 | Here's an example. Say you're in the middle of an argument with your partner. Emotions are running high. |
0:55.2 | Words are exchanged, the tension escalates, and suddenly you find yourself on autopilot, |
1:00.0 | blurting out things that are so hurtful, or maybe things you don't even mean. |
1:04.1 | This is where mindfulness comes in. |
1:06.3 | Instead of reacting and arguing and blurting, stop. |
1:09.8 | Take a few deep breaths and bring yourself back to the |
1:12.4 | present moment. Then turn towards your partner instead of away. What's the difference? Turning away |
1:20.3 | involves anger, criticism, or defensiveness. While turning towards can create increased levels of |
1:26.1 | positivity and warmth between the two of you. |
1:28.6 | Now that you've shifted your awareness, you can express yourself in a new and loving way. |
1:33.0 | This doesn't mean you deny your feelings. |
1:35.4 | You just express them in a softer way. |
1:38.0 | And then open a thoughtful discussion of what is really going on in the present moment. |
1:42.3 | Another way of practicing mindfulness during a tense |
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