Mindful Detaching and Finding Your Center

Love Over Addiction

Michelle Anderson

Society & Culture, Wifeofanalcoholic, Codependency, Relationships, Recovery, Alanon

4.8 • 1.5K Ratings

🗓️ 31 October 2021

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When you have someone in your life who is struggling with addiction, you've probably felt a wide range of emotions: hurt, anger, sadness, and sometimes even hope. It can be a lot, right?

So when you start to feel your emotions rise (which is normal!), it's important to find your 'center' again. But how do you do that?

Tune in to this week's new episode for a quick and helpful tip about detaching that you can use with anyone in your life (even with strangers!).

Find more here:

https://loveoveraddiction.com/finding-your-center/

Join us here: https://loveoveraddiction.com

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	You're listening to the Love Over Addiction Podcast.
0:17.4	Hey, it's Michelle.
0:20.4	This is just going to be a quick, loving reminder for me to you to say
0:28.8	that being in a relationship, caring for somebody that struggles with addiction is hard.
0:36.2	It is so difficult.
0:40.4	It's okay if you feel a level of intensity or deep level of sadness or anger or frustration, that's normal.
0:54.0	And here is just a very quick and helpful tip for the next time that your emotions feel incredibly intense.
1:06.0	The key to remaining in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction is a very common word in the world of addiction called detachment.
1:24.0	What I want you to do next time you are engaged in conversation with someone that you love and you start to feel feelings of intense emotion, feelings of anger, feelings of sadness.
1:42.0	You start to get tightness in your throat or a pit in your belly or you literally feel your heart breaking.
1:50.0	Remember that what they're saying or what they're doing is their business.
2:02.0	Is happening in their body? Is there the story in their head?
2:11.0	It's their choices. Try to take a deep breath and tell yourself, self, I am separate from the person I love.
2:26.0	I am a separate individual. We are not one.
2:33.0	I am going to disconnect from feeling all the feelings that are happening because a separate person from me is making bad choices or is being hurtful.
2:49.0	I am going to choose to cut the tie that holds us physically together.
2:59.0	So visualize in your head right now that there is a rope from your heart to their heart and when they make bad choices and you start to react, you start to feel the deep feelings of that person.
3:18.0	I want you to imagine in your head taking a giant pair of scissors or a huge sword and cutting that rope right in half and you are separate and you are now free.
3:35.0	And then I want you to say to yourself, self, go back inside.
3:42.0	Don't go outside of yourself anymore. Go back inside. Go into your center.
3:52.0	Go back into the center of who you are. Put your feet on the ground. Move and wiggle your toes. Feel centered on the ground.
4:06.0	You have now separated yourself and you are on solid foundation.
	...

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