Mind the doors – and the escalators, and other rail passengers
Simon Calder's Independent Travel Podcast
The Independent
3.6 • 628 Ratings
🗓️ 25 March 2026
⏱️ 6 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Govia Thameslink Railway, which runs Gatwick Express, Southern, Great Northern as well as Thameslink – has brought out a new safety video which is designed to reduce the number of injuries – currently running at 16 a week – sustained by passengers at its stations. Writer and comedian Diane Morgan presents it.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | And remember, luggage equals lift. We want you to go to Stuttgart, not A&D. |
| 0:09.0 | I'm only here to give you this public information message because I haven't fallen over running for the train. |
| 0:14.9 | I've got stuck between some train doors or tumble down the escalator with some heavy bikes. |
| 0:19.6 | Hello and welcome to today's independent travel podcast with me, Simon Calder. |
| 0:24.2 | It's Wednesday the 25th of March. |
| 0:27.9 | And that was the voice of the brilliant Diane Morgan, writer and comedian, |
| 0:34.2 | who is also known as being the alter ego of Philomena Kunk, the great documentary maker, |
| 0:42.1 | who I like to think of as the Thinking Man's David Attenborough. |
| 0:47.1 | Diane has just put together a safety video called Travel Safe with Diane Morgan. |
| 0:52.9 | The idea is that Govia-Temnslink Railway, which comprises great northern Thameslink |
| 0:59.8 | Southern and the Gatwick Express, wants to reduce the number of people who are being |
| 1:05.7 | hurt at stations. And so they have commissioned Diane to put together this very entertaining piece of work. |
| 1:14.8 | Where's the train to Dolan? |
| 1:17.4 | What platforms are on? |
| 1:19.7 | Why did I take this job? |
| 1:22.2 | Oh, that's right. I've got a tax bill to pay. |
| 1:24.4 | Then 08.45 to Dol stolen will depart from Platform 15. |
| 1:30.5 | Platform 15, that's miles away. |
| 1:32.9 | I don't run for it. |
| 1:33.7 | Stop, don't run. It's dangerous. |
| 1:36.4 | Who's this? |
| 1:37.3 | I'm the narrator of this public information film. |
... |
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