Military veterans. What are your best stories from boot camp? Just a four word here, folks.

Due to the military tradition of swearing like a sailor, or in this case like a soldier,

there will be by necessity a certain amount of language replacement in this video,

more so than I've had to do in any other video at the time of writing. Assume that if a phrase

seems slightly mild, I've been editing it to make it

safe for YouTube. Thanks, narrator. I had been in boot camp for like three days. We were downstairs

in formation at attention with our stupid safety flashlight about to march to PT. Obviously,

when at attention, you're not supposed to move. Then I suddenly had an itch on my nose.

Only happens when you're at attention. So I tried to sneak out a quick scratch, but for some reason

my brain shut down and my dumb idiot self decided to use my flashlight. I scratched my nose and was

almost home free until I had this weird thought.

I wonder how bright this is. So I stick the flashlight to my eye, click on, click off,

go back to attention. No sooner than my hand hit my side, I hear, what the frick was that? I was

immediately pulled out of formation and screamed at by no less than six drill instructors.

They screamed some of the funniest insults I have ever heard until this day.

Then they lead me to every squad who was formed outside, six, I think, and made me demonstrate

my amazing and godlike talents for all six squads before letting me return to formation.

Oh, there are so many stories to choose from. One of the funniest is who we had to salute. Every living being, literally. So I'm walking

back from a med appointment I had when a squirrel crosses my path. So I render a snappy salute and bark

out a, good morning, sir. Just as an officer is walking across the street from me he ran across the street to investigate just who the heck i was saluting i responded the squirrel sir he said what the frick you saluted a squirrel yes sir who's your company commander petty officer shanks sir

okay move on dummy and stop saluting squirrels.

Yes, sir.

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