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Nishi, welcome to my series, Mild at Heart.

Love, masculinity, and sex after purity culture.

It's something I've been excited about for a long time.

A lot of you've heard me talk about it, and it is something that is near and dear to my heart.

The first thing I think we need to address is there are so many great commentators,

artists, writers, thinkers who are helping us understand the trauma and ravages of purity culture.

For me, the most influential folks have been Linda Kay Klein and Sarah Moslinner and Julie Ingersoll.

There's so many other voices, Emily Joy, Jamie Lee Finch,

memoir, documentary, all kinds of things.

And I think folks are really sort of coming to a place where talking about the toxicity of purity culture

is out in the open and helpful, and it's different than even five or ten years ago.

One thing you may be wondering is, okay, do we really need men talking about this?

Men, especially cis straight men like me, are everywhere,

and they butt themselves into every conversation.

They often dominate those spaces and don't allow other people to talk and all kinds of things.

I think for me, I've tried to take that very seriously and think hard about whether or not

another voice in this mix is needed, especially from a cis straight guy.

What I realized is, it's taken me a long time to face up to my trauma as it relates to purity culture.

It's taken me a long time to even admit that it was there.

To admit that what happened 15 and 20 and 25 years ago for me,

...