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Midnight speeders.

Do not speed at midnight on a dark country highway in Macon County,

"'because that's what I did, and it was an infamous mistake.

"'The weather was nice, and I was busy testing my truck's aeronautical capabilities.

"'We traveled so fast, my front tires lifted from the road like a 747 disembarking from the runway.

And then I saw blue lights.

The officer was three foot high and bow-legged.

He sauntered toward our vehicle.

And even though he was 15 years my junior, he said, evening, son.

And evening officer, I said,

You know how fast you're going back there, kiddo?

Before I could open my mouth to discuss my iniquities with Junior, my wife interrupted in a

sugary tone. Could we hurry this up, officer, and she batted her eyelashes.

Please? The officer smiled politely.

...