Welcome. Welcome, one and all. Two of the late show, I'm your host,

Stephen Colbert. Well, folks, this suspense has finally broken. We've been waiting for

nine days to learn who would control the House of Representative. Well, you know,

if they say good things come to those who wait, not this time, because Republicans

have won control of the House of Representatives. I know. I know. It's disappointing, though

it is nice to see Republicans take the House without any zip ties. Votes are still refreshing

as what it is. Votes are still being counted in some swing district, so we don't have the

final tally, but Republicans are likely to control a slimmer majority than many expected.

No, it's bad, but not as bad as you feared. It's the political equivalent of Papa John's.

This means the new speaker of the House will likely be California Congressman Kevin McCarthy,

seen here realizing that wasn't a raisin, he just ate. With an incredibly thin majority,

many are predicting a chaotic term for a weak speaker, but Kevin thinks any majority

gives you the same amount of power as he explained. The one thing I know in Washington, they

don't hand the gavils out in small, medium and large size. Here with a rebuttal, former

speaker John Boehner holding his actual gavil, which was so large, he could summon it

like mule near. A lot of folks think McCarthy is in for a bit of a rough ride with one

Republican noting, it's like hurting cats, trying to get everybody together, and another

pointed out, you can't lose anybody. Any one person becomes kind of an island to themselves.

That island turns and cook us. Thank you. Thank you, Joe. Thank you very much.

Point is McCarthy has a horrible job where horrible people have the power to make him do

horrible things. One person who comes pre-horrible is Georgia Congresswoman and top dumb Marjorie Taylor

Greene. Greene threw her support behind Kevin McCarthy for speaker in exchange. She says, he's

...