I'm Wesley Morris, and this is Cannonball.

Today, it's Michael.

Do you know what I'm after?

Look, the movie's bad, like really, really bad.

But like many, a bad movie, it's also a massive hit.

And we're going to talk about why. Also, we've got a few

suggestions for biopics that we wish people who made Michael had watched before they went and made

this one.

Sometimes, when I'm walking around outside, I'll encounter a very familiar, extremely enticing aroma.

It is the smell of an oven, of baking bread, and no matter what, I will stop in my tracks and be like,

oh my God, I want that. That, of course, is the smell of a subway sandwich shop,

trying to reel me in by pumping out its most comforting

fragrance. But there's a problem with that tantalizing smell. It's evil. I thought about that smell

while I sat down to watch Michael, the new biopic about Michael Jackson,

that sigh, big, enormous sigh, was produced in cooperation with the Michael Jackson estate.

She's had all these songs in my head.

Don't want to be a boy, you want to be a man.

She's got to get them out.

The opening shots are just high water pants. You want to be a boy, you want to be a man. You've got to get them out.

The opening shots are just high water pants.

White cotton socks pushed down into a pair of black loafers,

and I could practically taste the smell of baked bread being pumped out onto a city sidewalk,

...