MFP 369: Marriages Don't Accidentally Communicate Well
Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family
4.9 • 841 Ratings
🗓️ 16 February 2026
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
You can't have a healthy relationship if you don't develop the skill of communication.
Summary
Marriage doesn't drift into great communication. You have to make the time and practice on purpose. In this episode, we share simple, realistic tools to help couples break bad habits and start talking in ways that actually bring them closer. You'll learn how to listen without fixing, reduce daily stress through connection and fun, and build rituals that create space for meaningful conversation. We talk about appreciation, gentle ways to start hard conversations, and why prayer changes everything. These aren't abstract ideas, they're practical habits you can try tonight. If your conversations feel rushed, tense, or nonexistent, this episode will give you hope and a clear path forward. Strong communication is possible, and it's one of the greatest investments you can make in your marriage. This episode accompanies MFP 368 Couple Communication in a Frantic Family!
Key Takeaways
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Take time to practice active listening daily. Quietly receive your spouse's stress of the day (not in your relationship) without comments, only questions to deepen your understanding.
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Create and practice Rituals of Connection. Rituals have a structure, a beginning and an end. You should have short daily rituals like sitting on the couch, time alone after dinner, or meaningful conversation after bedtime.
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Make sure to include stress-reducing conversations! Not every conversation needs to be intense. Create some boundaries and be sure to include some fun!
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Give each other appreciation. Gratitude is the key to happiness. Make sure your spouse knows how important they are to you.
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Practice the gentle start-up when relationship conversations need to happen. Always keep in mind how to best communicate so your spouse can receive your words.
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Pray together. Never forget that God is committed to your marriage and will give you all you need to succeed in communication!
Couple Discussion Questions
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When can we have one daily stress-reducing conversation?.
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List 5 things you admire about your partner and share them.
Resources
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10 Communication Exercises
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https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-communication-exercises-for-couples-to-have-better-relationships/
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Guide to Communication: https://messyfamilyproject.org/guide/communication/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Family, all in this together. |
| 0:08.2 | Family, we're taking a chance. |
| 0:10.8 | Family, like birds of a feather. |
| 0:13.3 | Family, we got my shoes and dance. |
| 0:15.4 | Hey, we are Mike and Alicia Hernin. |
| 0:17.4 | We have 10 kids and grandkids too, and we are here for every parent. |
| 0:21.4 | Because we are on a mission to empower moms and dads to embrace their sacred calling. |
| 0:25.6 | So join the conversation. |
| 0:31.9 | Welcome to the podcast. We're glad you joined us. |
| 0:34.9 | And if you listen to our previous episode, you're in for a real treat. And if you aren't, you don't know what we're glad you joined us and if you listen to our previous episode you're in for a real treat |
| 0:39.1 | and if you aren't you don't know what we're talking about just sit tight we got something |
| 0:42.8 | special for you so I know that we um have come into a lot of contact with the couples and I remember |
| 0:50.0 | this one couple that was really dealing with some huge, huge issues, huge addiction issues, |
| 0:56.5 | huge problems with even just like a public scandal, if you will, in their family. And in all, |
| 1:05.9 | honestly, from everybody on the outside, this couple should not even still be together. Right. |
| 1:10.3 | But they took |
| 1:12.0 | their communication with the help of an excellent counselor. Right. Um, they took their communication |
| 1:18.3 | really seriously. And more than seriously, it was a lifeline. They knew for them to stay together. |
| 1:24.1 | They had to figure out how are we going to learn to communicate and to |
| 1:30.6 | because that was the only way for them to build back trust after a huge amount of betrayal. |
| 1:37.4 | Yeah. Yeah. It was a big blowout and it was it was damage was done, but they, |
| 1:42.5 | they needed to to start over, not start over, but in a way, |
... |
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