MFP 355: Making Your Marriage #1

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family

Parenting, Religion & Spirituality, Christianity, Kids & Family

4.9 • 841 Ratings

🗓️ 27 October 2025

⏱️ 69 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this re-release of Episode MFP191, we open up about one of the biggest challenges every couple faces—finding time for each other in the midst of busy family life. After 31 years of marriage, we've learned that love doesn't just grow on its own; it takes intention and effort because although our marriages are always Important, they are rarely Urgent. In this episode, we share our own stories, some laughs, and practical ways to stay connected—whether through daily check-ins, regular date nights, or an occasional weekend away. We also talk about how to make this happen and what to do when you are together to use your time well. When we invest time in our marriage, our whole family benefits. So take a moment, grab your spouse, and listen with us. Let's strengthen our marriages together—because your relationship is worth every minute.

Key Takeaways

Marriage is never Urgent, but it is always Important. That means you have to intentionally take time for your spouse
Marriage is good for people and their mental, emotional, and even physical health.
We need to give our spouse our time - daily connections, date nights, and extended time away.
Lack of time together leads to decreased "love tank". A full "love tank" smooths out the rough spots in marriage and makes it easier to ignore the little things.
You have to be together without the children to renew your marriage and make strong the "couple love" between you which is essential for them.
You need a community around you to give inspiration and support for your marriage.
Make boundaries and goals for your time together. Use it wisely!

Couple Discussion Questions

When is our daily connection and regular date night?
What is the best way for us to spend that time together?

Transcript

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0:00.0	Family, all in this together.
0:08.2	Family, we're taking a chance.
0:10.8	Family, like birds of a feather.
0:13.3	Family, you got my shoes and dance.
0:15.4	Hey, we are Mike and Alicia Hernin.
0:17.4	We have 10 kids and grandkids too, and we are here for every parent. Because we are on a
0:22.2	mission to empower moms and dads to embrace their sacred calling. So join the conversation.
0:27.9	Welcome to the podcast. We're so glad you joined us today. And today's topic actually is, uh, is,
0:38.8	it is perennial and is foundational to both who we are, um,
0:43.3	as, as persons, as individuals, uh, but also for you as a mom and dad.
0:48.3	And we're talking about your marriage and, um,
0:50.9	we had talked about prioritizing things at our last member date night and using your time well. And I think that that is just a huge topic for couples is like you can talk about how important your marriage is and how important your family is. But at the end of the day, if you're not making time for it, then what does that mean? Like, you know, how do, how do I make that happen? Because we only have so much time. We have so much. We only have so much time.
1:11.6	And for all of us, it's still a struggle.
1:13.7	No matter where you are in your relationship, you've been married for a couple years.
1:17.3	You always have to discipline your time. We have to do that. We have to wrestle it to the ground. And I think that in this work, I'll just say for us personally, it has challenged our marriage more working together.
1:27.9	And it is challenged us to make time for each other.
1:30.9	So it's never easy. work, I'll just say for us personally, it has challenged our marriage more working together.
1:27.9	And it is, it has challenged us to make time for each other. So it's never easy. Don't ever think that it's, uh, it does get easier. I would say as we have grown and matured. Because if you have habits, you know, um, then that, that's what makes it easier. But sometimes you fall off the wagon and you need to be reminded. So no matter if you've heard us talk about this before, this is your, if you're looking for an intervention, this is that moment.
1:50.3	If you're looking for a sign.
1:51.4	You know what I was just thinking of is that that line from some poem that says like the world will ends not with a bang but with a whimper.
1:59.2	You know, I feel like that's how most marriages don't end with a bang.
2:03.3	They don't end because they, you know, like something horrible happens like, you know,
	...

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