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Transcript

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0:00.0	This is exactly right.
0:20.6	Hello and welcome to my favorite murder.
0:25.7	The minisode.
0:26.6	Here we go.
0:27.3	It's going to be so fun.
0:29.0	So fun.
0:29.9	The first one of 2026.
0:31.7	My God, this is going to set the precedent for all minisodes to come.
0:35.9	Oh, shit.
0:36.6	Get ready.
0:37.0	I don't remember what stories I picked.
0:38.4	Okay.
0:39.1	We'll kick off big and strong.
0:41.2	Okay.
0:41.5	The subject line of this email is babysitting in a tornado. Hi, ladies. You asked for babysitting stories, so I'm here to deliver. In 2009, I was 10 years old, and for some reason, the adults in my life decided I was mature enough to babysit a two-month-old infant and a three-year-old. How old was she? She was 10. 10 and a... No. No, no, no, no. 10. Okay. On this particular day, I was extra pumped because my neighbor said she'd pay me $5 an hour after school. And by neighbor, I mean she lived five miles down a rural road.
1:13.7	Honey.
1:14.5	That's how neighbors work out in the country.
1:16.6	I got dropped off by the school bus, and the mom basically sprinted out the door.
1:20.9	She told me to call if I needed anything, then offered zero instructions on caring for an infant.
1:25.5	An infant.
1:27.3	Like, they're very drappable, especially by 10-year-olds.
1:31.2	Who are basically in third or fourth grade, I think. Right. Yeah, my nephew, Joe, is 10. I would not let him hold a baby.
	...

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