Men, Vulnerability, and the Path to Connection with Jamie Haigh and Blake Roberts
The Allender Center Podcast
The Allender Center
4.7 • 648 Ratings
🗓️ 13 February 2026
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
What if the freedom you long for is hidden in that final 3% of the truth you're afraid to share?
This week, Dan and Rachael are joined by therapists Blake Roberts and Jamie Haigh of the Three Percent Podcast for a thoughtful conversation about holistic masculinity, loneliness, and the risk of real vulnerability.
Blake and Jamie share the meaning behind the "three percent", which references the small but powerful parts of our story we hide in shame, and how naming them opens the door to deeper connection and freedom. Together, they explore why so many men feel alone, the difference between conquering and connecting, and how redemptive risk invites us into a fuller, more honest life.
About the Allender Center Podcast:
For over a decade, the Allender Center Podcast has offered honest, thoughtful conversations about the deep work of healing and transformation. Hosted by Dr. Dan Allender and Rachael Clinton Chen, MDiv, this weekly podcast explores the complexities of trauma, abuse recovery, story, relationships, and spiritual formation. Through questions submitted by listeners, stories, interviews, and conversations, we engage the deep places of heartache and hope that are rarely addressed so candidly in our culture today. Join the Allender Center Podcast to uncover meaningful perspectives and support for your path to healing and growth.
At the Allender Center, we value thoughtful dialogue across a wide range of voices, stories, and lived experiences. In that spirit, our podcast features guests and hosts who may hold differing perspectives. The perspectives shared on this podcast by guests and hosts reflect their own experiences and viewpoints and do not necessarily represent the views, positions, or endorsements of the Allender Center and/or The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology.
Stream each episode, plus find transcripts, additional resources, and more at:
theallendercenter.org/podcast
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https://theallendercenter.org/2025/11/podcast-support/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, I'm Dan Allender, and I want to speak for a moment to the men who are listening, and even more so, to the people who love them. |
| 0:14.1 | Since 1988, I've been leading recovery weeks for both men and women, and these six-day in-person, intensive workshops, |
| 0:23.4 | are designed to create a healing, relational space for survivors of childhood sexual abuse, |
| 0:31.7 | to engage their stories. But here's the reality. Many men struggle to even name their experiences as abuse. How many men have been able to name their first experience with pornography as a form of sexual abuse? It's so hard to name what still bears shame. |
| 0:55.3 | And we've got to have both the support and courage to be able to enter those stories |
| 1:02.2 | with a kind of kindness that allows them to be radically changed. |
| 1:08.1 | But when your culture tells you to just push through, to move on, to carry it |
| 1:14.1 | alone, but you just know that silence will never erase the wounds. The impact of betrayal, |
| 1:22.6 | powerlessness, shame, self-contempt shapes the way we lived and the way we live. And it will not change |
| 1:31.7 | through mere desire or prayer. It's got to be through the engagement with story. And that's why |
| 1:41.1 | Recovery Week exists. This is really a rare opportunity of time and space to step away from the noise, |
| 1:49.2 | to be in a room with other men who understand what's really happening in your body, |
| 1:56.1 | your heart and mind as a consequence of the past abuse, |
| 2:00.6 | and have both the language and the courage |
| 2:04.5 | to begin the process of helping you reclaim your story. Every year, a small group of men say yes |
| 2:12.4 | to this process, and every year, in ways that will sound perhaps like a sales job. |
| 2:20.6 | But let me simply tell you, we have seen some of the sweetest and most profound transformation |
| 2:27.4 | that I see in my work. |
| 2:30.8 | It is one of the most favored and significant weeks I spend every year. Though this is an |
| 2:39.2 | advertisement, it's more of an invitation. And I hope you'll consider joining us in this life-changing |
| 2:47.4 | experience. If you want to learn more about the upcoming dates and the application |
| 2:52.8 | process for the recovery week, you can look at the Allender Center podcast. |
... |
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