It's the late show, pot show with Stephen Colbert.

Folks, if you watch the show, you know I spend most of my time right over there in the news kitchen,

gently roasting the most topical Duclair story duck with time and orange zest before blending the meat with Dijon-Armoniac at its own fats to create the

subtle and rich Riette de Canal that is my monologue. But sometimes, sometimes folks, I wake up

under a Carney's funnel cake friar where I scrape the drippings into a discarded clamshell of a half-eaten

corn dog and gnaw on the drifter's faux grove news that is my segment

Meanwhile

That's a vacation

That's the only vacation I need I'm staying here just getting more of this over the break

Meanwhile Gwyneth Paltrow is still defending Goop's

smells like my vagina candle, saying,

women are socialized to feel a lot of shame,

and we are beautiful, and we are awesome, and go fuck yourself.

And if you need any help doing that, ladies,

the Goop website has many options.

Meanwhile, in a Swiss village,

cows under a threat of a rock slide

were airlifted to safety via helicopter.

Take a look.

Okay. via helicopter. Take a look.

That is one confused cow.

And I'm pretty sure they're going to have to update the sea and say.

...